Do you remember those hilarious moments from childhood when “yabbing” was the unofficial sport of the day? Just thinking about those carefree days can send you into uncontrollable laughter. If you grew up in a typical Nigerian neighborhood, chances are you’ve had your fair share of “yabs,” and if you were lucky (or unlucky), you got crowned the undisputed “Yabbing Champion” at least once.
Back then, “Yab” wasn’t just an insult—it was pure art. It was comedy, competition, creativity, and even a confidence booster, all rolled into one. Some kids were natural-born yabbing warriors, always ready to throw the wildest and funniest insults your way. And the playground or break time during school hours was the ultimate battlefield.
What Is Yabbing?
“Yab” or “Yabbing,” in Nigerian pidgin slang, simply means jokingly insulting or roasting someone. But make no mistake—it wasn’t malicious. It was more of a social game, like your very own Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat, only with words. Two or more kids would square off in front of an audience, taking turns to drop funny, ridiculous insults that made everyone burst into laughter.
The person with the wittiest, craziest, and most laugh-inducing yabs won. No prize money. Just pure street cred and bragging rights.
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Classic Nigerian Childhood Yabs
Let’s take a nostalgic ride down memory lane. Here are some legendary yabs that still crack ribs to this day:
- You mess, akpu fly gate.
- Your mama sit down on top akara, no oil commot.
- The tallest man for your village dey use ladder climb Maggi.
- You mess, all the fishes for river die.
- Teacher say make you spell “TAXI”, you say T, A, times, One.
- You mess, Hulk Hogan shirt tear.
- You mess, agbalumo wear pant.
- You mess, Babangida shout ‘Are we safe?!’
- You mess, kpangolo carry weight.
- You mess, headmaster forget him name.
- You dey pass, anama yansh go overseas.
- They send you to buy Family biscuit, you carry your whole family go.
- Your scatter scatter teeth like Zuma Rock.
- You mess, all the fishes in River Niger shout ‘Hallelujah!’
- Oyibo man ask ‘how do you do?’ You reply, ‘Gbogbo wa la dudu for Naija.’
- They ask you to buy Coke, you say you want “baba dudu to wan ninu igo.”
- See your belle like skele wawa—nothing dey but e still dey protrude.
- I find you for Mile 1, I no see you; Mile 2, I no see you; Mile 3, I no see you; I see you for Mile 4 where you dey wash Angelina pant.
Why We Loved It
Let’s be honest—growing up was tough sometimes. But these moments gave us something to laugh about. Yabbing sharpened our wit, made us more expressive, and taught us how to think on our feet. It was street-smart comedy. The type of humor only kids could come up with—pure, raw, and honest.
More importantly, these yabbing contests helped form unbreakable childhood bonds. One day, you’d yab your best friend till they cried; the next day, both of you would be laughing about it like it never happened.
Share Yours!
Do you remember any crazy or funny yabs from your childhood? Drop yours and let’s keep the laughter rolling! No matter where you’re reading this from, one thing is sure—if you grew up in Nigeria, you definitely got “yabbed” or did some serious “yabbing.”
Let the yabs begin!
